I’ve already written about my experience with the German Police. Just recently another episode came to an end.

A couple of days ago, last Sunday, we found out that Olya’s bike was stolen from the locked bicycle room in our building’s underground parking :( it’s worth noting that the parking can be accessed only with a key; bicycle rooms are also locked and bikes are chained to floor-mounted bike-racks.

In theory, everything is pretty well secured :) but in practice: anyone can get into the parking through the car gate, when it is left open, by following the car entering the car park; our neighbors are idiots, they almost never lock the bicycle rooms (even now, after the theft); and the bicycle rack was just sawed through by the thief.

Both of our bicycles were chained to the same rack, but only Olya’s bike was stolen. There was probably just one thief, and he couldn’t ride both of the bikes. But he was a bit unlucky: quite literally two weeks ago I installed an AirTag under the seat of Olya’s bike whereas my bike didn’t have a geotracker!

Firstly, we reported the crime to the police — in Berlin it can be easily done online, and filed a claim with our insurance company. Almost immediately we were called back by the police, they asked a few questions and told us that tomorrow, on Monday, the officer would come to take a look at the crime scene.

Then we picked up a carsharing car and drove to the place where the AirTag showed the bike was.

Honestly, I assumed that thieves should be smarter and more informed, should be aware of such devices as geotags, should know where to look for them, and should remove and throw them away right after stealing. Besides that, AirTags have one very frustrating limitation — unwanted tracking detection. In theory, an AirTag can be discreetly planted in someone’s bag to track their movements. It’s forbidden by the rules and on the software level the iPhone can inform its owner that they are being followed by an unregistered AirTag. That’s why a thief, if he has an iPhone, would be warned that he is traveling with an unregistered AirTag.

Long story short, I didn’t hope for success.

The AirTag was located in Neukölln — one of the dirtiest and uncomfortable districts in the city. A lot of shady-looking characters hang around there. Yes, I know that crime has no nationality, but for some reason, I’m not surprised that the bike ended up there, but not, let’s say, in Mitte or Pankow.

Within the AirTag’s signal radius, we found a suspicious second hand bike shop. I’m still sure that this shop is related to the theft, since the bike stayed there for almost two days, until Tuesday. The shop was closed, we tried to find an entrance to the courtyard behind it, but no luck. Finally, we gave up and went back home.

The very next day, on Monday, the AirTag started moving around the district, we again picked up another carsharing car and rushed back to Neukölln. This time, the tag was about 100 meters away from yesterday’s place, in the courtyard of another building. It’s necessary to mention that in Berlin there are a lot of houses with enclosed courtyards that cannot be accessed from the street without a key. So, getting to one is a bit of an adventure. Especially taking into account the fact that we didn’t know in which exact courtyard we should get in. We were able to check three of them. To get in we buzzed random apartments, tried to explain what happened and asked to let us in. To get into the first yard someone opened the door for us without any problems, in the second one the door was just open and for the third one no one wanted to let us in… In general, I understand why: when you live in such a hole it’s too risky to open the door for strangers.

Unfortunately, all of these little adventures led us nowhere. At the last courtyard we were close to the geotracker, but there was no bike. However, there was a trash pile — and I almost convinced myself that the tag was just dismounted from the bike and thrown in the trash.

So, for the second time we had to give up and return back home empty-handed.

Then Tuesday came — and that’s when the action started. The police called Olya and asked for the geotracker’s coordinates. But while they were driving to that place the bike’s location changed, and they called her for the second time… and then for the third… On the fifth call they asked her to come to the area and help with the search.

The whole scene looked like something out of an action movie about spies and special services: a city street, music, increasing mystery and dynamism. On the street, five plainclothes officers were trying to blend into the background to avoid drawing attention to themselves. In doing so, they were also trying to find the missing bicycle. One of them spotted Olya. With a quick professional glance, he recognised her as the bike’s owner. With a “phone receiver at his ear” gesture, he asked if he was talking to her on the phone? A brief nod. And now the teammates are together, shoulder to shoulder, walking down the street and using the FindMy app to search for the missing artifact. Eventually the app led the heroes to a parked car with a bicycle in it! Now the agents set up an ambush and began waiting for the culprit.

After about an hour of waiting, the car owner showed up. It was about a fifty year old man. I’m not gonna say his nationality since crime doesn’t have one, but we do remember which part of the city this is all happening in.

The man assured the police that he had just bought this bike today for 100 Euros and was going to return immediately. Honestly, it’s hard to believe. I already said that to steal the bike, the thief had cut the bike rack to which the bike was chained. The chain was still hanging on the bike’s frame! How on Earth could this idiot buy a bike without asking how to unlock the chain? Beyond that, in Germany, even the cheapest Decathlon-bike starts at 300 Euros. What porridge for brains this man should have to buy this bike for one hundred? For the record, it cost 700. So yeah — it’s painfully obvious this a-hole knew that he was buying a stolen thing.

And apparently, I underestimated Man’s stupidity and overestimated the thief’s professionalism. Man, you steal a bike and don’t even try to check for trackers? Real genius right there.

On the whole, the bike was found and returned in just two days. Not to some, but to me, it was a great job.